Is Grief a Room or the House?

             What is the most devastating loss we can experience? Is it the death of a parent, spouse or partner, child, pet, or best friend? Or is it the loss of a marriage, the destruction of a wilderness, belief in our self-worth, or trust that our society will do the right thing? 

 

One of Suzanne Roberts’s friends said that ‘grief used to be one room in the house, but after their son died, grief was the only room.’

 

100 Miles Beyond Where Jesus Lost His Sandals

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Lenten journey for Christians. It’s when they look to see how far they have strayed from the path of faith, and if they need a refresher course in humility.

The title of this post struck me as fitting both the journey of faith and the journey of grief when we have to be brave and travel far beyond everything we’ve known, trusting that we will somehow make it through. 

Crossing Boundaries

When someone we love with our heart dies suddenly, we question what we thought were the givens about life. Life as we understood it ends. 

In the year after Evelyn died, I often went to Yosemite to take a break from grief. But I reached a point where simple survival was no longer enough. I set my fears aside and headed into the wilderness to explore grief. I took risks and pushed on every boundary I could find because I wanted to understand what life and death were about. 

In Grief We Are Family

(Earlier this year, Linda Schreyer interviewed me about grief and writing for Writers’ Talks at Studio West in Los Angeles. It was broadcast on Rare Bird Radio. The following is one of the topics we discussed. You can listen to the entire interview at http://t.co/9OWGGScNds )

Having a community of support is vital when you’re grieving, because it’s easy to feel isolated and alone. The emotions are intense and chaotic, and we need other people to help us navigate our way through. I had to search for community. Thankfully I found small pockets of people who understood grief.

Delayed Grieving

One of my essays was just published by Modern Loss. It’s about camping with rock climbers in Yosemite and all of the things I left unsaid when they headed off to climb, knowing that sometimes climbers die. You can read it at - http://modernloss.com/looking-el-capitan/

There are good reasons for not dealing with grief. We have to go to work if we want to keep our job. The children have to be taken to school and helped with their homework. We have to go shopping and cook if we want to eat.

* If you would like to read the rest of this post, let me know and I’ll send it to you. *