Sharing a Cup of Tea

             Each year we set out full of good intentions and resolutions. We set up plans for self improvement, with ideas and strategies for what we can do every day to make ourselves better (physically, mentally, spiritually). Take them with a pinch of salt. Rather than create a list of 20 things that you have to do every day (which I did for almost a year and ended up improved but more miserable than happy), resolve to do what nourishes you.

 

Talking with Children About Grief

I was going to share a different post with you today, then yesterday I listened to the wonderful podcast of Christina Rasmussen talking with her two daughters, Elina and Isabel, about their father’s death 15 years ago when they were six and four. This kind of conversation doesn’t happen often enough.

 

Before I talk about this, I want to remind you that it’s important to pay attention when people say they are struggling to hold their thoughts together. Seven years ago today, we lost Robin Williams to suicide as he tried to cope with Lewy body dementia that brought depression, anxiety, paranoia, and hallucinations. You can read my post about that at: https://widowersgrief.blogspot.com/2019/08/lost-to-suicide.html

 

Like suicide, talking about grief should not be taboo. We should not feel ashamed when someone we love dies because then we will say nothing about it to others, and this is when we need their support. 

 

Living with An Open Heart

It wasn’t like me, but I let myself be vulnerable to someone by sharing a personal feeling without knowing how the person would react. They could reject it and never speak to me again, or a deeper relationship could begin. 

This is a big step when you’re grieving because you don’t have as many friends as before, because when you started talking about grief, some of your friends edged for the exits because death talk made them uncomfortable. Early in grief, when the darkness descends in mist, so many emotions are surging through you that you’re not sure what your main emotion is. You don’t want to frustrate your friends with inexactitude, but it seems like there are a dozen emotions all fighting for the top spot, so you talk about them all.