Who I am.

I write about the landscape of grief, nature, and the wisdom of fools. The author of four books, my essays, poems, and reviews have been published in over 50 journals, including in the Huffington Post and Colorado Review. I’ve won the River Teeth Nonfiction Book Award, the Chautauqua and Literal Latte’s essay prizes, and my work has been nominated for four Pushcart Prizes and named a notable by Best American Essays. My account of hiking in Yosemite to deal with my wife’s death, Mountains of Light, was published by the University of Nebraska Press. http://www.markliebenow.com.

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Listening Again


 Sackcloth and ashes. Do we really need this?

 

If you’re grieving, you’re already feeling low and depressed about life, and there’s probably some anger and loneliness mixed in.

 

But today is Ash Wednesday, and Christians use this day to think about all the ways that they have messed up over the last year, where they feel broken, and how they have hurt others. It’s a day that lends itself to dwelling in dark basements.

 

Although it’s often couched in terms of “sin” and “doing penance.” I think of Ash Wednesday as a day of Spring Cleaning for the soul. Every religion has a day like this. Acknowledge what you’ve done in the past, good and bad, recognize your patterns of behavior, and make adjustments for the future.

 

Some think it’s about becoming a perfect person (or a perfect person of faith), but this isn’t ever going to happen, and this constant focus on self-improvement distracts us from seeing what other people need.

 

Plug yourself back into your power source.

 

What we want is to restore our body, spirit, and mind to balance, and root our lives back into what we value and love, despite all that has happened, and in spite of all that has happened, because from this foundation arises everything we do.

 

What we do for others is more important than being perfect in our beliefs. One comes from the heart, while the other is a head trip driving around a cul-de-sac. 

 

If God is love, then love others. Take care of the ailing, the hungry, the lonely, and others who are grieving. If we are going to be perfect in anything, let us be perfect in this.

 

Nietzsche said a fulfilling life requires embracing rather than running from difficulty.

 

For the grieving, this can be a day of sorrow upon sorrow—the loss of our loved one piled on top of our personal failings. It forces us to think again about all that we could have, should have, would have done to save our loved one, even if this wasn’t a possibility.

 

No matter what is going on, root yourself in the holiness of every day of life.

 

Today is a day about sitting quietly in front of a candle, lighting its flame, and listening to the universe. 

 

Treat everyone with compassion, kindness, and respect. 

May we be humble in everything we do and say, including for ourselves.

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