Giving Life

Organ Donation

We generally don’t like to think about death. Because of the coronavirus, we’re now thinking about it every day, and we’re worried because so much about the disease remains unknown.

When someone we love dies, the waves of emotion, finality, loss, and shock overwhelm our system and we don’t know what we’re supposed to do next. When doctors ask if we want to donate their organs, we may not understand the gravity of what they’re asking.

This is an important question. The lives of other people depend upon what we decide to do, people who will die in a matter of days or weeks without our help. They have no options left, except the one we hold in our hands, and this decision has to be made soon, because organs are delicate.

We may not know how we feel about this. While donating our loved one’s organs may be the logical decision, it may not be the right decision for us. Emotionally we may not feel comfortable with doctors taking out parts of our loved one and putting them into someone else.

This is a decision that should be made ahead of time, when no one is dying, and we have time to see how we feel about our choice and reverse direction if we change our minds. Then, if the unexpected should happen, we are ready, and our families don’t have the anguish of guessing what we would have wanted.

Thankfully, Evelyn and I had talked about donating our organs. She saw a public service announcement, felt that it made sense because we weren’t going to need our organs, and we signed our driver’s licenses for organ and tissue donation. Ten years later, when she died suddenly in her 40s, I knew what she wanted. 

Ev died in April a number of years ago. Coincidentally, April is also National Donate Life Month. This month every year, while I mourn her loss, I also celebrate her compassion and rejoice that four women are alive because of what she did. Knowing that parts of Evelyn are still alive brings me a measure of comfort.

There is a great need for donors. Only half of the organs that are needed are found, and 

thousands of people in America die every year waiting, including children. Unfortunately, while many people are willing to donate, they don’t get around to setting things up. Or, if they have everything in place, they neglect to tell their families about their wishes before it’s too late.

Why should we think about this? Every day, people die who do not expect to do so. 

Think about whether donating your organs is something you would like to do. If it is, tell your family, and then do what you need to do to register as a donor where you live.

(A version of this essay was published by The Huffington Post.)