Suffering

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi

 

When we suffer a loss, we think we should be strong enough to take care of ourselves, so we don’t tell anyone. When others are suffering, they don’t tell us for the same reason, even though we would want to help. 

 

‘Pain and suffering are inevitable for those with a deep heart.’ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

We may think that we’re suffering because of something we did. This may or may not be true because a great deal happens in life that is outside our control. No one likes to suffer, but suffering is going to be part of everyone’s life, especially if we care about other people. Our suffering can be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. 

 

            We learn how to endure suffering when we find something greater to live for.

 

Some suffering is temporary. We get a cold. Our sports team finally gets to the championship game, after years of futility, but loses. Other suffering is the result of something we do. We get a sunburn because we didn’t apply sunblock. We drink untreated water from a mountain stream and pick up the giardia lamblia parasite that makes us loose for a few days. Sometimes we choose to endure suffering in order to reach a goal, like working overtime so that the family can afford to go on a long-overdue vacation.

 

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.” Kahlil Gibran

 

Other suffering is more significant and lasts longer. Good friends move away, or we lose our job. When someone we love dies, our suffering goes to a whole new level. For months we will struggle with anger, frustration, despair, and loneliness. We may think that if we had done something differently, they would still be alive. This anguish is hard to endure because there is no way for us to know if this is even true, and it’s a rabbit hole to avoid. We did what we knew to do at the time because we cared about them.

 

There is also suffering that is deliberately caused by others. This may be a one-time event, or it may be an ongoing situation. I can’t fathom despair so great that you lose your last thread of hope. I can’t imagine what it was like to be sent to a concentration camp during the Holocaust and watch your family sent to the gas ovens, your friends worked to death, and watch yourself turn into a walking skeleton because of malnutrition. 

 

‘Even if I can’t see the sun, I know it still exists.’ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

 

Where we are suffering is where we are open to the compassion of others. We need to be humble enough to ask for help if we need it, and wise enough to accept help when it’s offered. The kindness of people is what holds the world up.