Who I am.

I write about the landscape of grief, nature, and the wisdom of fools. The author of four books, my essays, poems, and reviews have been published in over 50 journals, including in the Huffington Post and Colorado Review. I’ve won the River Teeth Nonfiction Book Award, the Chautauqua and Literal Latte’s essay prizes, and my work has been nominated for four Pushcart Prizes and named a notable by Best American Essays. My account of hiking in Yosemite to deal with my wife’s death, Mountains of Light, was published by the University of Nebraska Press. http://www.markliebenow.com.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Home For the Holidays







Finding a place to survive when your world has been torn apart.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice or another observance that you celebrate at this time of year, our memories of being HOME for it are probably similar.

* If you would like to read the rest of this post, let me know and I’ll send it to you. *
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11 comments:

  1. aliceloveDecember 7, 2016 at 8:44 AM

    Thank you Mark. I really like the last paragraphs, because I seem to suddenly be buried in grief again and I want to also let go. Life is too short to be so sad every year at this time.

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    1. Mark LiebenowDecember 7, 2016 at 12:35 PM

      It is hard to let go of holidays past because we liked them the way they were. And it's hard just to come up with new ways of celebrating them. I think that no matter what we come up with, they will never be better, just different.

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  2. Mark LiebenowDecember 7, 2016 at 9:44 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Pete ShumwayDecember 7, 2016 at 10:44 AM

    Thanks Mark. This is my second holiday season and it was no easier. I had wished the decorating would be "fun" again and it would bring back the home for the holidays warmth. The first year I did put out almost all of her loved decorations (feeling I was obligated to the ritual), but this year just a few of her favorite ornaments, and each year will choose different ones. That made it easier and I'm OK with that and, as you say, can wrap myself in those memories without being overwhelmed. Wishing you and your family the most happiness in the season, and my sincere condolences on your recent loss.

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    1. Mark LiebenowDecember 7, 2016 at 12:34 PM

      Thank you, Pete. I like your idea of just doing part of what you used to do. As you say, it made it easier.

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  4. Pamela & MurrayDecember 7, 2016 at 11:44 AM

    very helpful to read - thanks -

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  5. anonymousDecember 7, 2016 at 8:52 PM

    Of course the message of Christmas is hope for the future, but through the lens of grief we look back at our idyllic memories....I am always amazed at the duality of grief's journey...thank you for your insights

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  6. MickDecember 11, 2016 at 7:13 AM

    My wife passed away just five weeks ago. My three young kids and I are trying to survive this Christmas by doing what we've always done, but as the holiday gets closer, it's getting harder to even breathe. I just found your blog this morning, and I thank you for your words. I'll be a regular reader now!

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    1. Mark LiebenowDecember 11, 2016 at 8:51 AM

      I am so sorry, Mick. No death is good, but death near the holidays has extra bite. You may feel caught, wanting to skip the holidays completely, yet you have your children to think about. They grieve, too, but they still want some of the holiday celebration. So do some of your traditional things, but don't push. If the family isn't in the mood to do something you've always done at this time of year, don't insist. You will help each other get through this dark time.

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