Every Wednesday

Every other Wednesday, I will post a reflection on the entire landscape of grief. This blog isn't just for widowers. It's for everyone who grieves. I want to encourage people to share their stories and compassion with each other, build up a community of support, and help those who have never grieved understand the trauma that death brings.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Donating Our Love

My interview with Linda Schreyer for Writers' Talks at Studio West in Los Angeles is now online. You can listen to it at 

Organ Donation

April is Organ Donor Awareness Month, and tomorrow, April 17, is National Blue and Green Day for honoring those who have donated organs.

Most of us don’t like to think about death, or grief, or anything connected to them. We may feel uneasy being in the same room with a dead body. And if that dead person is someone we love, we might not be able to look at all.

* If you would like to read the rest of this post, let me know and I’ll send it to you. *


  1. My husband was an organ donor, registered with the Ca DMV. He also donated blood when he could. I knew this was important to him. Still, when he was killed in bicycle collision, I was not prepared for the phone call a few hours later when a person asked me if they could ask me a few questions but let me know it was happening whether I liked it or not(thinking about it now it had happened by the time of the call). I thought they were rude to say that but I answered the questions knowing it was what he would want, and it was a lot of questions. I guess they had to say that, but it took more control from me in an already uncontrollable situation. Three and a half years later it is nice to know someone might be able to see with something that were once attached to his beautiful eyes(his internal organs took the brunt of the collision) I haven't registered, when I do I will let people know about that phone call.

  2. They were rude. We were in California, too, and when I was asked the questions in 2001, even though Evelyn had signed her Driver's License, they said that I could still decide not to donate her organs. I hope they haven't changed the law. I don't like the way they handled that, at all. You were giving them a very precious gift. And you are so right. At a time when you were dealing with unexpected loss, you didn't need attitude from others. I'm sorry for your loss, and sorry for the way they spoke to you.