Prostate Distillate

 

If you’re a man, you are likely to develop prostate cancer at some point. This will generally happen when you’re older/old, and in most cases, it will be so slow growing that you will die of something else before your prostate becomes a problem. That’s good news.

 

It’s still shocking to hear the doctor say you have cancer. Last fall, my annual PSA test came back with a high number, much higher than the year before, so I knew that something was afoot. I thought I’d be in the large “we’ll watch to see if anything changes” group. It wasn’t. The news surprised me because I had no physical symptoms and, eight months later, I still don’t. That’s good news, too.

 

After a number of finger palpitations over the months (yep, still there) and a series of scans (bone, CT, PET), a biopsy revealed that I had an aggressive form of the cancer, so I do not have the option of doing nothing. My choice is either surgery to remove the prostate or a combination of hormone therapy and radiation. 

 

When I casually mentioned this to a couple of my male friends, I was surprised to hear how many of them had already been flagged by their doctors and were being monitored for changes. They hadn’t spoken of this before, like it was an embarrassing secret. But then we generally don’t talk openly about other health matters that affect our lives, just as we don’t talk about grief or our fears about death, choosing to struggle with them alone and stoically trying to endure them. It would be easier on us if we shared what was going on and had the support of a group of people.

 

My friend Michael says that if you’re a man and are going to get cancer, this is the kind of cancer to get because it’s treatable, so I’m not likely to die from it. That’s good news, too. 

 

Doctors have a bunch of theories about what causes prostate cancer, but the possibilities are so ubiquitous that they don’t offer any useable ideas for how to prevent the cancer from starting. Genetic screening can tell who is likely to develop cancer. Then you have to wait to see if it does.

 

I’ve looked at the stats and know that after I’ve taken care of this cancer, there are predicted percentages for it coming back down the road. So, cancer will forever be a horse that is grazing in my back meadow.

 

While both of my choices have comparable, positive outcomes, what I worry about, outside of the discomfort of the procedures themselves, are the possible side effects of the treatments, with incontinence and erectile dysfunction being common to both. While most of the effects will be temporary and fade after the treatments are done, some may not. That’s the rub.

 

Rather than dying way into old age as my body parts wear out, I have a possible cause, and there is anticipatory grief in this because the dreaded “what ifs” begin. Right now I have to decide between surgery or hormone therapy and radiation as my course of action.

 

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