Connected by Threads

Because our lives are filled with goals, deadlines, and responsibilities, we often treat objects like objects. We don’t pay attention to their origins, nor do we honor them for the life they share with us. We also do not treat animals with kindness, respect them for their labor, or honor them for their friendship.

In Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer, of the Potawatomi Nation, urges us to respect everything that created. 

For example, the paper we write on, the pencil we use, and the table we eat at came from trees that were once living. They gave their wood to us as a gift, and we should honor them and take care of what they have given us. It’s what she calls respecting the thread of life.

Too often we also treat people like objects as we push to reach our goals.

We expect people to be responsible for their own lives, instead of living as if we were part of a same community that supports one another. When we’re suffering, we think we should be able to take care of ourselves, so we don’t tell anyone. When others are suffering, they don’t tell us for the same reason, but we’d be happy to help, if we knew.

When I was grieving, people politely asked how I was doing. Rather that deflect their concern, mostly because I was so tired that I no longer cared what they thought about me, I told them the truth—I was hurting. And some of them chose to come by for coffee and listen to what was going on. They emailed me late at night to remind me they were there if I needed to talk. They greeted me on the street and spent a few minutes catching up on recent developments.

Grief has taught me that we are happier with the help and interactions of others. 

I want to offer people compassion instead of judgment. I want to listen longer when they are hesitant as they speak. I want to hug them when there are no words, and be present when everyone else has gone away.

We can all hold doors open for others who are carrying packages. We can reach up high to get items in the grocery store for older folk and people in wheelchairs. We can smile and nod at strangers on the street to acknowledge that we are on this journey together.

The earth is our home. We, and everything created, are its children. Grief may be everywhere, but so is compassion. Speak kindly. Walk humbly.