Organ Donation

Giving Someone Breath

            We don’t like to think about death or grief. Most of us feel uneasy being in the same room with a dead body. And if that dead person is someone we loved, then we might not be able to look at them at all, let alone kiss their forehead one last time.

As squeamish as it may feel to some, and horrific to others, donating the organs of a loved one can be a sacred event because we are physically giving life to people who will die in a matter of days without the organs. They have run out of options. We hold the gift of life in our hands, and we are the ones who choose who lives and who dies.

That’s a powerful decision, and not to be taken lightly. Although donating our loved one’s organs may be the logical decision, it may not be the right decision for us. Emotionally we may not feel comfortable with doctors taking out parts of our loved one and putting them into someone else.

Many of us don’t know how we feel about donating organs because we haven’t thought about it. So, when someone we love dies, and doctors ask if we want to donate, we don’t know. In that moment we are so overwhelmed by the blunt force of death that we really don’t know what we think. But this is a decision that has to be made now because organs are delicate creatures.

The decision about donating our organs should be made ahead of time because then we have time to see how we feel about our choice and can make changes if we want. Then, if the unexpected should happen, we’re set, and our families don’t have to go through the anguish of deciding. 

Thankfully, Evelyn and I had talked about donating our organs. She saw a public service announcement and felt that it made sense, so we both signed our driver’s licenses for organ and tissue donation. Ten years later, when she died unexpectedly in her 40s, I knew what she wanted. 

“I’m not going to need my organs after I die,” Evelyn said.

Four women are alive today because of her decision, and fifty others had the pain of their burns eased because of her tissue donation. Knowing that parts of Evelyn are still alive brings me a measure of comfort.

The need for organs is great. Only half of the organs needed are donated, and thousands of people die every year waiting. The sad part is that many people who are willing to donate don’t get around to setting things up. Or if they have decided, they neglect to tell their families.

Every day people die who do not expect to do so. 

Think about whether donating your organs is something that you would like to do. If you are, tell your family, then do what you need to do to register as a donor where you live.

(A version of this essay was published by The Huffington Post.)