Who I am.

I write about the landscape of grief, nature, and the wisdom of fools. The author of four books, my essays, poems, and reviews have been published in over 50 journals, including in the Huffington Post and Colorado Review. I’ve won the River Teeth Nonfiction Book Award, the Chautauqua and Literal Latte’s essay prizes, and my work has been nominated for four Pushcart Prizes and named a notable by Best American Essays. My account of hiking in Yosemite to deal with my wife’s death, Mountains of Light, was published by the University of Nebraska Press. http://www.markliebenow.com.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Coming Home After



Journal entry 35                                                                       
(The following is taken from my journal during the first year of grief.)

The shadows of the dead weigh heavy, like thick humid air when dark storm clouds approach.

I’m not in control anymore. Forces I can’t see push me around like an ocean. Every day life flows by but I can’t connect. Every few days people bring food and I eat. They send cards or call and leave messages that I won’t return. Words have lost their meaning. Colors mute to gray. Every day I excuse myself, sit on the side of the world and watch it flow by, unable to move, unable to care what happens to me or to anyone.


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