Every Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I will post something about grief. Sometimes it will be a reflection on an aspect of grief’s landscape. Now and then I will share from my own journey of grief, because in the sharing of our stories we find strength and build a community of people that support one another.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

We are the Grieving, We are the Dead

We are a community of shared grief.

We are the wife who died, who could not handle another health problem,
            yet we didn’t want him to suffer.
We are the husband who lost his wife in her forties to a heart attack.
            We live on because we can’t let go.
We’re fighting to survive.

            *
We are the stillborn who never saw our mother’s face,
            but we knew her laughter, love, and the rhythm of her heart.
We are the young woman who gave birth to a stillborn girl
            with perfect fingers, toes, and a beautiful face.
            We mourn her and our dream of being a mother.

            *
We are the brother who could not calm the fires burning our mind,
            and did not want to bother our family anymore.
We are the sister who lost a brother to suicide,
            and grieve someone we expected to grow old with,
            someone who always had our back.

            *
We are the woman who had our life ripped away
            by breast cancer in a winter hospital in Illinois.
We are the woman whose best friend died.
            We went on vacations together.
We planned on raising our children together.

            *
We are the father killed in a car accident one rainy night,
            and will never see our listless son find his life’s passion.
We are the teenage son of a man who died.
            We have no one to teach us how to be vulnerable
in a caring relationship.

            *
We are the woman who found home in an unexpected place,
            the joy of a loving man, before the brain tumor.
We are the man who lost our wife soon after marriage.
            It was to be a new start. Instead of love,
            we now live in a house walled in with grief.

These are losses that take away who we would have become
if our loved ones had lived.

They also take away who we were.
There’s no going back to then.

We become the one who died

and the one who won’t ever give in to grief.

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