Every Wednesday

Every Wednesday I will post something about grief. Sometimes it will be a reflection on an aspect of grief’s landscape. Now and then I will share from my own journey of grief, because in the sharing of our stories we find strength and build a community of people that support one another.

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Monday, January 9, 2012

Lost in Death

If we don’t believe that the people who love us continue to look out for us when they die, guiding our actions and thoughts in some way, then what of them remains with us? 

We’ve all known people who were so wise, compassionate, encouraging, and talented that we scarcely believe they could exist. When they died, we mourned not just our own loss, but also their loss in a world that continued to need their influence.

In the past I found consolation in the thought that the effect of these unique people continues after they die because they continue to live in us. But when we die, when all the people who knew them personally have died, then they are finally gone?

Today I let my thoughts wander a bit further.  

If they changed our lives, then how we interact with others is also affected, our interaction affects those people, and the compassion of the people we loved is passed on through us to others. Even though people down the line may not know the ones who died, the source of their energy, their insights and compassion, all of this continues to exist.

Physicists say matter cannot be destroyed. It changes form, becomes energy. Neither can compassion be destroyed. The compassion I share with you, I still keep. And as you share this compassion with others, compassion multiplies. Like yeast in sour dough bread. There is no limit to how much compassion can grow.

From watching how Evelyn loved others, I have learned how to take better care of others. 

Matters like this do not end. Unless we want them to.

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