Every Wednesday

Every Wednesday I will post something about grief. Sometimes it will be a reflection on an aspect of grief’s landscape. Now and then I will share from my own journey of grief, because in the sharing of our stories we find strength and build a community of people that support one another.

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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Death of a Wife: Evelyn

Ten years ago today Evelyn died. 

It seems like yesterday, but it also seems like a long time ago. I still grieve her absence, but now I am able to celebrate her wonder. She embodied human compassion and love, and my cherished memories of her will never end. 

I have observed that at the scene of a tragedy in nature, whether it’s a rockslide that buries a pond, a massive flood that washes away a meadow, or a forest fire that burns up a habitat for birds, raccoons, and squirrels, nature keeps moving. 
It heals the places that were destroyed and creates new scenes of beauty. It’s not the same beauty that was there before, but different. 

The same holds true of us and the people we love. When they die, we can’t imagine loving anyone as much again. Yet we have enormous abilities to withstand trauma and grief, and we have the ability to love others again. I think grief has taught me how to love more deeply. 

Love is not tied to time’s linear movement, and time’s passage does not diminish love. Love expands. As we continue to live, we learn to love new people, and our capacity to love grows. 

We realize what Francis and Clare of Assisi found, that we can love everyone and everything, because Creation itself is love.

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