Thanksgiving is brutal on
those who grieve because it insists that we be grateful for what we have. Yet in the beginning of grief, all we can see is what we’ve lost.
The traditional things to be grateful
for on this day are food, shelter and community.
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Thank you for this post. I just lost my Mom to cancer, and facing the holidays is challenging. I just started writing about my experience in this loss. Perhaps one day I will share it, too. "Life is strange and beautiful" certainly describes well this time of grief.
ReplyDeleteIt was a long time, Cynthia, before I could describe life as either strange or beautiful. I had different words. It's also like saying life is sorrow but also joy. This first holiday season without your mom will probably be hard. Just keeping up with the holidays is hard. Writing helped me get through. May writing do so for you.
DeleteI cooked the Thanksgiving dinner today. My brother, my SIL and I are having dinner at their place tomorrow. The reason we're having it early is because they will be out of town on Thanksgiving Day.
ReplyDeleteBonnie and I used to cook Thanksgiving dinner together. Both of us were excellent cooks and we enjoyed that sort of thing. We'd routinely cooked for one another, Thanksgiving of not. She died shortly before Thanksgiving, three years ago.
The phrase, "Thankfulness is its own reward," has been going through my head for a number of years now. It is so very true.
While some would be aghast if I said to them that I'm even thankful for Bonnie's death, in hindsight, it was the best thing for the both of us. It both ended her suffering and forced me to grow spiritually, which is something I very much needed to knock me off my high horse. Given my druthers, it is not what I would have wanted; I fought against her passing tooth and nail. However, in the end, though I miss her terribly, I realize it was a gift from God, the best thing that could have happened for all concerned.
~Manfred
http://www.knightsfeather.com/
http://knightsfeather.blogspot.com/
Even if it was the right decision, even if we had no choice in the matter, even if there was no alternative, it is still hard to let go of those we love.
DeleteMy wife, Sandie died two years ago, on October 12th. The last two Thanksgiving Days were spent with family. This year my daughter and her family are traveling, so I'll be alone. I was invited to someone's house, but I really don't want to go there. I'm not sure why, but I'd rather be alone. I plan to spend a lot of time talking to God, and I'll go to the cemetery with flowers. It was a special Thanksgiving in 2011 when Sandie said she would marry me, and I'm most thankful about that. I will also remember all of you who have lost a loved one, and pray for your healing.
DeleteI like that you are honoring what you feel you want to do. This is not to say that it will be easy. I expect that it will be meaningful on a number of levels. May you go through the day mindful of both your sorrow and your joy for Sandie. May we all be mindful of the many who are in our community of grief.
DeleteThere are many who feel the loss of someone today, someone who should be here. Our's is a scattered community.
ReplyDelete