Who I am.

I write about the landscape of grief, nature, and the wisdom of fools. The author of four books, my essays, poems, and reviews have been published in over 50 journals, including in the Huffington Post and Colorado Review. I’ve won the River Teeth Nonfiction Book Award, the Chautauqua and Literal Latte’s essay prizes, and my work has been nominated for four Pushcart Prizes and named a notable by Best American Essays. My account of hiking in Yosemite to deal with my wife’s death, Mountains of Light, was published by the University of Nebraska Press. http://www.markliebenow.com.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Introverts and Grief


If you’re an introvert like me, you find it hard to share strong emotions even in the best, or worst, of times. This presents a problem when we’re faced with grief. If left alone, we will close the drapes and hole up until grief is gone. But grief isn’t going to leave without the help of others. If you’re male, this presents an even bigger problem.


* If you would like to read the rest of this post, let me know and I’ll send it to you. *

6 comments:

  1. Couldn't even tell you how I found your site, Mark. But I'm glad I did. We've met once or twice, briefly, with handshakes and how-ya-doings. My wife is Jean Behrend . . . ah, the Wisconsin connections! We're in Fresno, where she's doing responsible things like professoring at Fresno State in Curriculum and Instruction. I'm less responsible: writing (not paid much) and working (paid a little) in bereavement at a local hospice. As an introvert that sometimes can fake being extroverted, I am grateful for your words . . .

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    1. Hi Larry, I do remember meeting you and I also remembered that you were a writer. I think that you and Jean were married in the Yosemite Chapel. As a fellow introvert, I can be extroverted for a period of hours, and then I want to be an introvert again. But maybe it's more of needing a balance between speaking and listening, whether this is in a large group or in the woods by myself.

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  2. I'm glad you're writing about emotions and grief ANYway! Because "I’m a man, and talking about emotions almost seems taboo"? That is NOT how it should be in my humble opinion. As a straight woman, I want a relationship with a man who has some emotional capability; any who don't have that would not be good candidates for me. Anyway, contemporary Western society has done men a HUGE disservice in "convincing" many of them that emotions are exclusively female, are weak, and are not to be part of a "real" man's vocabulary. Nothing could be further from the truth. Emotions are *human*, and it's high time the world figured that out and made room for it.

    Keep doing what you're doing.

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  3. Hi Connie! Great timing. Today I posted a review of Fatherloss, a book that surveys how men grieve the loss of their fathers. It has insights into how men grieve any loss, and I mention how men often feel they have to prove their "manhood" by not showing emotions or crying. I so agree with you. Men should be humans first.

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    1. And I recently posted about how our society in general needs to be better at allowing for tears. I didn't focus on the "real men don't cry" trope, as I know many are uncomfortable with tears from anyone regardless of gender. The post is here if you're interested: http://aroadlesstraveledblog.blogspot.com/2014/10/tell-without-crying.html. Blessings.

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  4. There is a sacredness in tears. They are honest. They are vulnerable. They are droplets of the river of life that flows through us. They are direct pathways to our emotions. They are true. Thank you for your post about tears on A Road Less Traveled.

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