Every Wednesday

Every Wednesday I will post something about grief. Sometimes it will be a reflection on an aspect of grief’s landscape. Now and then I will share from my own journey of grief, because in the sharing of our stories we find strength and build a community of people that support one another.

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Tuesday, October 8, 2013


Journal entry 24
My unpleasant task today is to sort through more of Evelyn’s possessions, this time it’s her bathroom supplies to see what I can use. There are shampoos, soaps, brushes, combs, tampons, a new razor that she wanted me to try (a Mach 3), hair caps, the tint we used to lightly color her hair, and a number of mysterious beauty items like blue goo for cleaning your face. 

Feeling silly, I give the goo a try, letting it go to work as I continue sorting. The aqua-colored paste spreads over my face, heats up when rubbed with a little water, and turns blue as it cleans the pores. At least I think that’s the theory. Afterward my face is silky smooth. And a little raw, like it took off a layer of skin. 

I save the Chinese herbal medicines from Barb, Ev’s sister and certified Chinese acupuncturist, to ward off colds, and several gallon jugs of conditioner bought from Marla, a hairdressing friend who changed businesses. Most of the sorting is mechanical. Angrily I throw away the pills prescribed by various doctors in the months before her death to deal with aches and pains that would not get better.

When I’m finished, I sit on the bathroom floor and realize that I’ve moved Evelyn another step away from me. How many steps will there be before I lose sight of her? How many steps before I lose touch with her presence in my life?

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