Every Wednesday

Every Wednesday, I will post something about grief. Sometimes it will be a reflection on an aspect of grief’s landscape. Now and then I will share from my own journey of grief, because in the sharing of our stories we find strength and build a community of people that support one another. To follow, please leave your email address.

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Talking to Strangers in Coffee Shops





I like getting into conversations with strangers in coffee shops and talking honestly about our lives without expecting the other person to do anything to fix the problems. We share the hardness of work, struggles in relationships, our feelings of the world not measuring up to even lowered expectations.  
I especially like it when I can talk about grief and see what insights I can learn from their experiences, to hear their stories that put my trauma into the greater context of trauma in the world. The more I discover how many people have gone through grief, the more I am able to accept my own as part of life.
It's not easy to talk about our vulnerable places, but I'm convinced that this is the only place that we really connect with each other, and the only place that matters.

Sometimes I think that if I went around to each house in my neighborhood, there would be at least one story of grief living in each one. Someone would have lost a child, a spouse, a parent, a pet, a friend who died too young, a sibling, or a mentor.

Here's a question. Are there equal measures of love and grief in the world that balance each other, like the pendulum of night and day? I would like to think so, although I hope that there would be a great deal more love stored up and waiting to be shared, because there seems to be a lot of grief.
Sometimes our lives are filled with warm daylight that goes on and on, as in summer. At other times the night of winter takes over. We go to work in darkness and return home in darkness and for months our thoughts and emotions dwell in the cold and dark.

By listening to each other and sharing from our hearts, we warm each other’s hands, and provide light for the next part of the journey.

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If you have a moment, let me know what you appreciate about this blog. Your comments will help me decide what to write about in the coming year.


My thoughts and prayers are with you. Tonight I light a candle for both of us.

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